If I spend my free time with you, it is because I find value in spending time with you, because there is something I get from spending time with you and perhaps something more I hope to get from it in the future. If I cease to spend time with you, it is because the value I found in you seems diminished to me or because it has become clear that the things I had hoped for will not be attained.
How unpopular it is to express such thoughts! We are so afraid of being this clear about the inescapable facts of our interactions, facts confirmed by our every experience. We feel that the man who thinks such things must know no love for anyone but himself. But the words above are not a description of a life in which there is love: the feelings I have described, insofar as they are unconsciously felt, are the very sustenance of love — perhaps they are even the entire substance of love. We simply fear consciousness of such thoughts: while they remain unconscious, we still can live in self-deception about our true motives.
In the end, there is the simplest of rules for all relations with others: if you want to be loved, be worth loving.
Hey dude! How are you doing? I really do have to write more often. Did I tell you I moved from my work? I’m on my way to work in NYC some day!!!
Take it easy bro,
hope to see you soon.