Dictionary
Revolutionary, n.
Revolutionary, n. A man who hopes to change the social order in such a way that he will surely rise within it, but who takes offense when one questions if the latter is not a motive for the former.
Clothing, n.
Clothing, n. A contrivance with which the plain try to give off the appearance of the graces nature has not given to their bodies.
Eugenics, n.
Eugenics, n. The unpopular notion that society benefits more from abortions than from the death penalty.
Love, n.
Love, n. Bellum duorum contra omnes. Or, more precisely, an alliance of two in the midst of the bellum omnium contra omnes.
Country Club, n.
Country club, n. Where rich Americans, born among a basically unaristocratic people, go to vainly affect the manners of the British aristocracy.
Theology, n.
Theology, n. The systematic derivation of trite absurdities from false assumptions.
Hell, n.
Hell, n. Where all of your enemies are most certainly going.
Dancing, n.
Dancing, n. A ritual established by women in which men are forced to humiliate themselves publicly by performing a series of awkward, rhythmless motions in front of others. They endure this humiliation to prove their love — that is, to assure the women that they have complete control over them.
Love, n.
Love, n. When two people share an obsession, each with the other, that if it were had by only one of them would qualify that one as stalking the other.
Romantic, n.
Romantic, n. One who, merely upon hearing a minor chord, is certain that he hears the voice of God speaking directly to him, offering up the secrets of the universe. In contrast, hearing the sounding of a major chord, he is sure that it is the voice of the most saccharine and shallow sort of [...]